Happy Fourth of July, 1996!!!
Are we all Red and White and Black and Blue enough???
OK, OK... no small talk!!!
So you want a profoundly-humorous "Zero for President Campaign Speech",
huh?
Sheesh! OK!!!!
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls...
A muffled cry is barely heard, as "Corporate Security Types" force their way to the back...
where the "heckler" was disrupting the speech...
I mean, have you noticed how bad people DRIVE?
Can you IMAGINE what society will be like with "Less Government"--
if INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY is NOT well-defined?
When people drive... they SPEED!
They change lanes--without signalling!
Their exhaust systems are too loud or they reek with pollution!
That reminds me of the chemical companies being "self-regulating"!!!
Let me ask you, "Self-policing Netizen", are YOU the kind of I-way driver
who thinks that you're "Number One"?
And so what does that make the rest of us... a bunch of little ZEROs?
When you're driving, do you speed and change lanes--
like there's nobody else worth signalling your intentions to--
and generally treat the rest of us like we should all be carrying
Super Highway Pooper Scoopers... to clean up your
Information Highway ROADKILL!!!
Laramie, WY (Rooters) And with a bow to the Politically Correct (PC) in the audience, Zero, the "ALL-DIGITAL, ALL-THE-TIME" candidate for the Office of Cheating Spouce, er Yuppie Blow Dry, er PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES (you take your pick) delivered the first speech in what promises to be yet another meaningless example of "Internet Culture" in action! On April First, 1996, a new "Digital candidate" for the OFFICE of President of the United States, came online, here at at www.zero1.com.
The "candidate" is named ZERO. And his only qualification to "run scared"
for office?
According to his "campaign manager", John Guthrie, "ZERO is the Hitch Hiker
of the Information Highway...
He's 'been there- done that'... and he's
got a sense of humor!"
To Guthrie, April Fools Day seemed like the "Politically Correct"-- PC--
day to bring out the first global, digital candidate for "the most important
office in the world". ZERO will use this site to invite daily feedback from
visitors... to enable them, as ordinary people, to define what the policies,
priorities and agenda of the nation's government "could be".
The reason that each issue page is blank is because we are not here to tell you what WE think about that issue. We're here so YOU can simply tell "us" (and we'll tell REAL politicians) what YOU think is important-enough to have spent even a moment's time, "voting" for it.
And here's how the "issue votes" will be added up:
First, we DON'T want to know who you are!
ALL we are interested in is how many people "hit" on an "issue" that's
important to them! The number of hits is all we're "counting".
We'll simply use a word processor and do a "keyword" search
(we'll search the continually-running web site "hit" log; that shows where people went
once they came into the site). The keywords will match the names of the
"issue" pages (like debtl.html; for the issue of "Local Debt")
Then, when the site is next updated (around Sept.4) we'll put the
running tally of votes-to-date, right on this page...
so you can see what other people think too!
We will ALSO be providing the running-total (issue-vote) data to www.vote/smart.org
(which is a site we recommend you visit to see what REAL politicians are
saying and doing)!
First, if you want to see what ZERO "thinks" are important national objectives...
Otherwise, here goes the list of "Important issues" for you to vote on!
(CLICK HERE)
And if you want us to ADD an "issue", great!
Either email your issue to:
E-Mail: Mister President Zero!!!
Anyway, here are the issues that we started with:
Pick the one or two issues that are MOST important to YOU!!
And thanks for participating!
Abortion, "Pro-Choice"
437 votes (as of March 3, 1997)
Abortion, "Pro-Life"
206 votes
Balance Federal Budget-- Cut Entitlements
62 votes
Balance Federal Budget-- Cut Government Departments
39 votes
Balance Federal Budget-- Increase Taxes
46 votes
Crime, urban
24 votes
Crime, international
15 votes
Debt, Local Government
15 votes
Debt, State Government
18 votes
Debt, National Government
59 votes
Economy, Local
12 votes
Economy, Regional/State
12 votes
Economy, national
12 votes
Economy, the U.S. position internationally
11 votes
Education, Quality of
37 votes!