WARNING!!!
This site is ZZZ-rated!!!
(which means, "Netizens", that your fancy-pants,
"latest thing" Netscape and MicroSoft browsers...
are NOT as good as...
viewing this site on plain... white... paper!)
That's right, ZEROheads, you MUST agree to proceed at your own risk!
OK?(we're on the honor system here, so you can just nod your head!)
Great! Now...
TUNE OUT !
TURN OFF !!
DROP IN !!!
(like, when you go for a walk... DO drop in! (;-)
...that's what ZERO for PRESIDENT says!
I suppose you want to "talk" with The Candidate!
(not to be confused with the Redford movie of the same name).
Well, pokey, you can TRY to get a word in...down at the bottom of this page!
But while we have you...
Here!!!
... let's torture you with some stupid "Site History"
(site HERstory, if you want to be 'PC'):
Last Update: March 4, 1997!
Hey, THIS is impressive!
You are actually (forget "virtually")
the 11 billionth,
215 millionth,
513 thousandth,
400 and....eighteenth...
no, make that NINETEENTH person...
actually (and virtually) to visit this "site" since it opened...
what, for "Cyberbusiness"?!
Yea, right! We "opened" on APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!
Get a LIFE!!!
All Aboard The Information Railroad!!!
Click here to listen to "Old 717".
Wait a minute! I belong on the Information HIGHWAY!!!
What's this stupid information RAILROAD stuff anyway?????
I don't get it! ...er, that's not right!
Of COURSE I "Get It"!
I get ALL the "latest and greatest"... of "virtually" EVERYTHING!
I'm "Completely Wired"!!!
(I love the ads.. who can read it?)
And I believe... in Virtual Reality!!!
Editor's note: You decide:
Virtual Reality? An affront to the unfolding gift OF reality...
or the pathetically-weak rationalization of the singularly-UNcreative
(read "predominantly MALE/technobabble egotist)?
Hey, stop the techno-babble!
Don't change the subject!
All I know is that I'm SO hip...
my armpits don't smell!!!
And I got a $60,000 hair-weave and I LOOK GREAT!!!
It's just that... well....
This page is so... WEIRD!!!
And if ANYTHING... I'm --VERY-- "PC"!!!
I'm not satisfied!!!
Whaaaaaaaa, I WANT A REFUND!!!!!
Sheesh! Where's my "BACK" button????
Get me OUT of here!!!!
Is this a complaint button?
Sorry, "Netizen", don't TOUCH that button!!!
This is "The Engineer" speaking...
It's too late now to get off THIS train!
This "Terratrain" (it runs on terrabits-per-second :-) HAULS THE FREIGHT!
And the train is about to enter (gasp!)
The Quantum-Effects tunnel!
So, bigshot, if you don't sit down...
RIGHT NOW!!
...your electrons will REFLECT!
So, please, before it gets too dark in the tunnel to see your mouse...
simply decide if you want pictures to be displayed-- or not
(because, "newbies", pictures take more time to download)
